No Energy, No Energy Vampires

Have you ever had a friend who was in need, and you, being the good friend, stepped in to help?  But then, after a while you find yourself “stepping in” more than you would like?

Is it possible this person is an Energy Vampire?

I’ll share a principle I use (and its corollary) that helps me understand more specifically how I’ve invited Energy Vampires into my life (and set the foundation for being able to get them out of my life).

But assessing potential Energy Vampires, and knowing how to set boundaries with Energy Vampires is critical.  I review at least 5 different categories of the suckers in this post.  And suggest that it may be worthwhile to ask yourself in what ways you might invite the suckers into your life.

Principle: Energy Vampires feed off specific kinds of energy.

Essentially, Energy Vampires look for specific needs to fill.  Wherever you have a need, let’s say an insecurity or a vulnerability, or even a high sensitivity or reactivity, in or around an area of your life, Energy Vampires hone in on it.

I think of it a little like resonance.  Like when two strings on a guitar, or two different instruments play the same note in tune or harmonize perfectly, there’s that vibration you feel.  The note or notes are exactly in sync.

When you or I have that insecurity, vulnerability, high sensitivity, or reactivity, it’s like a vibrating string.  Energy Vampires are drawn to you because of that vibration.  It’s a little like how sharks sense their prey.

Also, here’s a little science on entanglement that describes the process of how sensitive we can be in relationship at an atomic level (yes, atomic).  It’s physics.

Resonance can feel good, especially for intuitive types.  It’s connection.  But just because resonance happens, it does not mean that it is necessarily a good connection for you.

So, what are the specific kinds of energy on which Energy Vampires feed?

Energy Vampires feed on your need to be needed, seen, heard, touched, valued, admired, recognized, appreciated or loved (among others).  The things you yearn for or want badly and are missing from your life.  Yep, that pretty much means everyone could be susceptible to Energy Vampires.

The problem is that Energy Vampires don’t ever actually meet the need, but they sell the promise of it well.

 The corollary to principle 1:  No energy, no vampire.

The first step to identify Energy Vampires is to evaluate what needs of yours they might be preying upon.  Where you experience insecurities, there are usually legitimately unmet needs.  If you know your vulnerability, then you can act to take care of yourself rather than be victimized.

This does not mean that you have to get your need met before you can make Energy Vampires go away.  Identifying the needs you have that might attract Energy Vampires provides you with the opportunity to set boundaries.  Boundaries do make Energy Vampires go away.

But the longer you wait to set your boundaries and ask for what you need, the harder it becomes.  The harder it becomes, the higher the stakes.  So don’t wait!

In other words, you can un-invite Energy Vampires to your life.

Image Credit: Michael Gray

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Eva Rubin, MPH/LCSW

Hi! I'm Eva Rubin, LCSW. I study the psychology and the art of how to live well as an introvert and sensitive person so that I can learn and share it with you.
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