It’s been about three days after the last drink from the firehose of information we were promised in Seth Godin’s 2015 Inaugural altMBA course, a 31 day sprint of learning what it takes to make big change in the world. I’m still letting the sediment settle so I can get some perspective on what just happened.
But maybe that’s the point, it’s not about waiting until the dust or the sediment settles once it’s been shaken up. It’s not about waiting for everything to be clear to move forward. It’s about acting with what you have, reflecting, refining, and acting again.
I’m exhausted. From conversations with other altMBA students, there’s a similar sense of let down after an incredible experience, and a recognition that what we did was hard work. Meaningful work. Transformative.
Meaningful because we saw and experienced the personal patterns that keep us from being the change we want to see. Transformative because seeing those patterns and making different choices helps us to have the personal power and skills to make this world a better place, a kinder place, a more just place.
But the altMBA is not exactly over.
Our last project is due in less than 4 weeks on August 13, 2015. And I’m already gearing up for it, trying to figure out exactly what I’m going to do, how I’m going to share what I learned from the altMBA, who I’m going to share it with, what change I want to make, what the world views of those people might be, and how I might frame the change…
Whoa Nellie! My mind is off to the races. My brain’s feet are tearing up that hamster wheel. Worrying about the future details.
In reality, I am in the reflection phase. I just acted. Now it’s time to reflect. Then refine. Then act again.
But reflection can be a trap. It can get into the analysis that stops further action (analysis paralysis, anyone?). I caught myself in that trap last night getting critical of past details in my altMBA experiences.
Reflection and exploration are different than analysis. Out of this reflection, I get to explore. What would happen if? What could happen if? I could if… Then I refine, and then I act again. Reflection and exploration allow for the cycle to continue evolving forward. Or, it gives me the ability to, as Seth Godin says, “bounce forward.”
I realized that analysis arrives at a conclusion that is fixed. It says that things are the way they are, and that you now understand them as they are.
But, really, it means that you understand them as they are at this given moment within the frame of mind in which you are thinking now. Any truth fixed in a moment is useless as soon as one thing changes. The weather, your mood, the way you’re thinking. No, I am not saying analysis is useless, I’m just saying it’s important to know its limitations. It is an illusion of overall clarity. Not actual clarity.
So I am reflecting on what I learned. Looking back on what was meaningful, what stood out, what helped me connect more to myself and my own power to help make big change in the world.
I brought more of me, Eva, to my writing. I used more of my voice. I shared my passions. The more risks I took to show who I am and what matters to me, the more engagement I got from my fellow students. When I became afraid of what I said in my posts, I learned that it actually meant I was on the write path. Not because I was afraid, but because it meant I was writing about something I care about and I was making myself visible.
Visibility, for me, is uncomfortable. It means that I can and will probably be wrong at some point in front of many, many people. And that’s a scary thought. It means that I can be criticized in front of many people. And, really, it’s probably about changing my frame about right vs. wrong (and picking a different story), but for now, it’s what makes visibility challenging.
I realized that I was choosing the alternative to avoid my fear. I remained hidden. The corollary? I didn’t ship. I’ve waited to make my creation, my effort, and my writing perfect. Unassailable. And, as a result, I haven’t brought my gifts in the way I can to help make this world a better place.
Probably the most important thing I learned is that my desire to make big change is stronger than my desire to stay comfortable.
This is my reflection on what I learned from Seth Godin’s 2015 Inaugural altMBA course. The sediment hasn’t settled much yet, but these truths are ones that I hope transcend more than a moment to help me bounce forward. To connect with you better so we can make the world a better place. Together.
15 posts in 31 days at altMBA: check out my projects.
Eva Rubin, MPH/LCSW
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